Now that you’ve spent the last however many hours, days, months (and sometimes years) breastfeeding your baby, you might be coming to the end of your nursing journey. Weaning, or the process of transitioning your baby away from breast milk and towards other forms of nutrition (i.e. formula, cow’s milk (for older babies) or solids), can be deeply personal, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
Breastfeeding is a special time for you and your baby to bond, and as you consider transitioning away from it, it may feel like you’re closing a significant chapter in your motherhood journey. Even though breastfeeding may have had its tough and messy moments, it’s also been a beautiful and meaningful experience, making the decision to stop both bittersweet and emotional.
As you move towards no longer nursing, it’s completely okay if you’re excited to get your body back to yourself. It’s grown, delivered and fed your baby for quite some time now, right? It’s also okay to feel sad (or even a little guilty) that you’ll no longer be the sole provider of food for your baby. Emotions aside, you’ll also likely feel some physical effects when you stop breastfeeding. You might start your period again, still leak and produce milk, have hormonal changes, experience headaches and even develop some acne.
Whether you’re weaning gradually or have to stop sooner, having a plan can help make this difficult transition easier. Having your friends, partner and support system will be a lifesaver during this process. Let’s dive into how to stop breastfeeding in the best way for your life, baby, and body.
- Understanding the Weaning Process
- Preparing for Weaning
- How to Stop Breastfeeding Gradually
- Managing Physical Changes and Challenges
- Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Weaning
- Tips from Experts on How to Stop Breastfeeding
Understanding the Weaning Process
As you consider stopping breastfeeding, it’s important to really understand weaning. As we’ve mentioned, weaning is the process of changing your child’s diet from breastfeeding to other foods and fluids. But no two weaning experiences are the same. What works for your favorite influencer or best friend and her baby might not work for you and yours. Remember, weaning is personal, and each body and baby responds differently.
Whether you’ve already made the choice that you want to stop breastfeeding or you’re considering it, you should start to look for clues and signs that indicate your child is ready to wean. If your baby can hold their head steady in a sitting position and coordinate their eyes, hands, and mouth so they can pick up their food, put it in their mouth and swallow it completely, they may be ready to start weaning. These signs usually are seen at around six months of age, but remember that every baby is different, so there’s nothing wrong with your little one if it takes them longer to develop these signs.
It’s important to remember that weaning is a gradual transition for you and your baby. Weaning isn’t an all-or-nothing deal. A slow and gentle approach to weaning can be healthier and will allow your body time to adjust to what is happening. Your body has been through so many different stages in such a short amount of time.
Pregnancy, labor and delivery, postpartum and breastfeeding all take a toll on you. So, giving yourself ample time to adjust to stopping breastfeeding can make the transition easier. Plus, it gives your baby time to change too. All they’ve ever known for food is you, so it’s not an easy time for them either.
Preparing for Weaning
Setting a Timeline
Now that we’ve established that weaning is a gradual process, you need to have a realistic and flexible weaning schedule. Whether you’re months away from weaning and just want to be extra prepared or your child is showing signs that they’re ready to wean today, creating a timeline and plan for you can make the transition smoother. Here are some tips that can help:
- Decide when you want to start weaning. This can help you savor the last days of your regular breastfeeding schedule and help you emotionally prepare. Write the date on the calendar so you can visualize the timing.
- Create some goals. Do you want to reduce feedings by one each week? If that goes well, do you want to eliminate another feeding?
- Remember that your timeline needs to be flexible. Life happens. If your baby doesn’t react well to another feeding being cut out of their schedule, taking it a little slower with them is okay.
Emotional Preparation
A large part of stopping breastfeeding is creating your plan and timeline. But it’s not all logistics—mothers feel a wave of emotions, from sadness to guilt. Some mothers feel grief and even mild depression. While others may feel relief that they’re done with breastfeeding, especially if their journey with it was not easy.
Your body will also stop producing the oxytocin you release when you breastfeed and have skin-to-skin contact with your baby. This sudden drop in these “love hormones” can cause your emotions to heighten. But if you wean gradually, this drop will likely feel less intense.
Then there’s your baby’s emotions. They could feel a sense of rejection, anger, or become irritated with you. Because you won’t have that physical bond with your baby that breastfeeding brings, it’s important to create that bond in other ways. Whether that’s more skin-to-skin contact outside of feedings or extra hugs, make sure you’re compensating for that loss.
Your support system can be a great way to discuss your decisions and plans and help you feel more prepared for the journey. They can offer reassurance and comfort before you wean and the emotional support you need as you wean. Plus, having everyone in your life who is close to your baby on the same page can help them understand the baby’s and your emotions during this time.
How to Stop Breastfeeding Gradually
Reducing Feeding Sessions
First, gradually decrease the number of breastfeeding sessions. Start making your breasts less available for feeding by wearing regular clothes and bras instead of nursing ones. This will make your breasts less accessible for your baby. Next, shorten each breastfeeding session. It can make a big difference whether it’s just a minute or two. Remember, it won’t affect your baby’s health, as they usually feed for longer than they need as it provides comfort. Start spacing out your sessions. For example, if you feed at 7 p.m., stretch it out for another hour or two. Once you stretch them out long enough, you can eventually completely cut out a session.
As you do these strategies to gradually decrease your feeding sessions, remember to replace these feeds with solid foods or formula if needed. These other forms of nourishment will ensure your baby is still getting healthy food and fluids without breast milk.
Comfort Measures for Mother and Child
As you wean, you may have engorgement and discomfort in your breasts. If this happens, try pumping until the discomfort eases. Lactation consultant Sarah Peck, RN, MSN, IBCLC, recommends using ice packs to reduce swelling or take over-the-counter pain relievers like Advil to help with intermittent inflammation and pain needs. “Sunflower lecithin can also improve breast discomfort and reduce the incidence of plugging in the breast. Light lymphatic drainage massage upwards from the nipple towards your lymph system in your neck, armpit and clavicle can also help relieve pressure as well,” Peck said. Wearing a comfy bra can also help. That’s just a general life tip though!
To keep your baby comfortable while weaning:
- Keep them busy.
- Read the books or offer them some extra skin-to-skin contact as we discussed.
- If bedtime is extra difficult while weaning, try adding a new thing to their routine, like a lullaby or a new bedtime story.
Managing Physical Changes and Challenges
Dealing with Engorgement
Engorgement can be one of the most uncomfortable parts of weaning. As your milk production starts to slow, your breasts could feel swollen and tender. Dealing with this on top of the emotions of weaning can be tough, but there are ways to help.
“Some techniques that have worked well for me in the past are applying ice packs and cabbage leaves or extract to the breast. Additionally, gentle massages and hand expression over the breast feels great and prevents further discomfort. My personal favorite hack is to pump one breast at a time in order to hand massage the breast that is being pumped simultaneously, avoiding any clogs. This method helped me never have a clogged duct! It is more time consuming but worth it to avoid additional pain and get all the milk out,” Garrett Kusmierz, mom who’s experienced engorgement and founder & CEO of kozēkozē, said.
Monitoring Health and Nutrition
It might be scary to think about how to get your baby the right nutrition without your breast milk, but it’s super straightforward on how to make sure your little one is getting the right amount of nutrients. If they’re old enough, around four to six months and up, they can eat solid foods like veggies, fruits, yogurt, cheese, meat and infant cereal. If they’re not old enough, make sure you’re supplementing your breast milk with formula.
It goes easier said than done after you become a mother, but don’t forget about yourself! Weaning can take a toll on you and your energy, so ensure you eat healthy and balanced meals.
Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Weaning
Coping with Emotional Challenges
Weaning can stir up a lot of emotions for a mom, especially when you’ve formed such a deep bond through breastfeeding. But don’t forget to take care of yourself during this transition. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating nourishing meals and taking time for self-care. Simple acts like practicing deep breathing, enjoying a long shower, or even stepping outside for a few minutes each day can do wonders for your mood. Above all, be kind to yourself during this time. Remember, weaning is a natural part of your motherhood journey, and it doesn’t lessen the connection you share with your baby. You’ll find new, beautiful ways to bond with your little one.
Seeking Support
“Having a great support system is essential always as a mother, but especially when you transition to stop breastfeeding. The first reason for this is that you go through many hormonal shifts as you wean off breastfeeding, your estrogen increasing emotional, prolactin and oxytocin drop that can cause your body to feel like it is out of its normal rhythm and leading to feelings of tiredness and irritability,” Kusmierz explains.
This could also be increased by your baby not sleeping through the night or just the fact that you’re not getting enough sleep from all of the things on your plate.
“Finally, a support system can help ease the emotional transition of the end of the breastfeeding phase – the first time you truly have your body fully “back” to yourself and recognize the void of no longer carrying or nursing the baby. While it signifies a chapter closing, it’s important to fully process this amazing phase of life,” Kusmierz said.
Seek support. If you’re no longer nursing and struggling, reach out to your loved ones. If you feel like you need professional support, talk to your healthcare provider about what you’re going through. They can help.
Remember, many mother goes through this process. Support groups – whether in person or virtually – can provide a space for women to share their experiences and offer advice or support. It might help to just know that you’re not alone in your feelings.
