Getting pregnant was not the plan when I moved to The Netherlands to start a life and pursue many career goals.
I’m not going to lie: my world was shocked—and all I could think of was “How am I going to balance it all?” when I saw the positive test. But something inside of me kept me calm.
It felt like the right next step. A step that didn’t change who I was as a person—more than just physically—until I had my baby in my hands.
Having a baby became my dream, but building my business seven years ago was my first child, something that not many people understand. To the general public, entrepreneurship seems like a crazy endeavor of doing many things and not having something “concrete” or getting something immediately in return.
So naturally, when I discovered I was pregnant, the question of how my life and career would look with a baby landed in my lap much faster than I could think of.
As a female entrepreneur, setting up boundaries is your internal secret second step after deciding to pursue your idea, but I did not imagine how crucial this was going to be in one of the most important chapters of my life: Motherhood.
As a trauma-informed finance professional, speaker, podcaster, and founder of The Money Mindset Hub, a coaching business supporting female entrepreneurs to achieve financial success, I knew I had to take steps to decentralize the productivity of my business as soon as I knew I would become a mother.
Honestly, I thought that was the only real thing I had to worry about and put effort into. What else could you think of? Having a baby looks like such a romantic scene, hugging your big belly and fantasizing about meeting your little one. But as I started sharing the big news, other things made it to the “we need to fix this” list.
It’s still incredible to me how much we go through when we see those two positive lines, how much advice we receive and how many uncalled-for opinions we encounter when we just enter the motherhood ground.
Some advice was very insightful and kind, yet most had a pinch of fear, uncertainty, and sometimes, shame around being the ambitious working woman that I am.
I see all these narratives playing out differently in my work as a trauma-informed money mentor. I see how judgments have created barriers in my clients’ relationships with money. I saw it in myself years ago when I decided to take a different approach to finances.
I knew I had to be prepared to filter and block some of those beliefs and experiences about giving birth and having kids from affecting my own experience.
And I thought I did such a great job of filtering and blocking the necessary for a smoother pregnancy. After all, I got to travel to three different countries without feeling any emotional discomfort: we kept hiking in New Zealand, swimming in Costa Rica, and most importantly, I kept working until Thursday afternoon before my little girl’s arrival. I even had an unmedicated, five-hour labor at home (according to the midwife and other mothers, this is very uncommon, I truly don’t know).
So I thought, there you go; I bet all of what people told me or warned me I couldn’t do, I did. Thanks, boundaries.
For some weird reason, I expected these comments and experiences to stop, as one might think people would give you a break from worrying you, but I did not see them coming after giving birth.
The first few weeks after my baby girl was born brought an immense amount of emotions and adjustments. I was overwhelmed with the responsibility—I had a whole human being to take care of and she didn’t seem to want to sleep much.
Those weeks also brought the significant realization that my life had fundamentally changed. The sleepless nights, the constant feedings, and the physical recovery were challenging.
My identity shifted in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I felt I had no control over my time, over my day and that was so frustrating.
I was no longer just a woman who had a business—I was a mother, responsible to love and keep this tiny human alive.
To say the least, coping with this new reality was tough. The part that I struggled the most was to balance my ambition and my new role, especially because everyone kept telling me:
“Oh yeah! The first six months, you can forget about your life!” or “Yeah, the first year is very tough, but It’s all worth it.just focus on the baby.”
The problem is that besides focusing on my baby, I also had a thousand ideas running through my head around my business, that I knew once I put them out of my head, they would leave me with that sense of satisfaction that I’m always looking for in my business. It became clear that to thrive as both a mother and a businesswoman, I needed to establishmore boundaries.
I realized that these boundaries were not just for my own benefit but ultimately for my daughter as well.
I needed to be present for her, to give her the best start in life, and to do that, I had to protect my own well-being.
This meant setting clear limits on my work hours, delegating tasks, and learning to say no. It also meant prioritizing self-care and asking for help when I needed it.
So here are the five foundational boundaries I’ve set for myself since embracing motherhood:
Delegating: Ensuring My Business Growth
My team can do it as well as, or better than, I can. A new, very important role has started in my life, and I’ve learned that prioritizing strategic delegation is essential for the growth of my business while I balance both roles. If I want my business to continue thriving, I need to focus on high-level vision and direction, while delegating other tasks to those who can support me.
I’ve now delegated various tasks to my right-hand assistant, a data analyst, and a customer journey onboarding specialist. I’ve outsourced other administrative tasks to additional teams or relied on programs that offer automation. This delegation allows me to concentrate on areas where I can make the most significant impact, such as creating podcast episodes and developing new business strategies.
For instance, my assistant manages administrative tasks, email correspondence, and scheduling, freeing up my time for strategic planning and creative work. My data analyst continuously supports our mission to help female entrepreneurs by analyzing the impact of our initiatives, ensuring we can optimize and improve our services, which I later use to create new content or programs.
By delegating effectively, I ensure that my business operations run smoothly and efficiently, which directly contributes to the growth of my business.
Consent Matters: Offering/Receiving Advice
Navigating unsolicited advice in motherhood has been one of the most challenging things I’ve encountered, which is why this is the most rewarding boundary I’ve set.
For instance, soon after my baby girl was born, a family member suggested I should stop working entirely to focus on my baby and enjoy the first few months while they lasted. While I agree that these little moments are precious, I also decide how to enjoy them, so I thanked them for their concern but quickly filtered their advice out in my head.
This boundary has helped me a lot, especially when navigating things like breastfeeding, baby growth, resting, and, honestly, pretty much everything that seems new to me.
I decide whether to allow someone else to give me advice based on my own willingness to hear it. If I feel it’s unsolicited, I’ll politely redirect the conversation, fostering mutual respect and empowering myself to seek guidance on my terms. This boundary ensures that I’m not overwhelmed by outside opinions, which can quickly lead to other types of perspectives (I know this from the work I do), and allows me to focus on what truly works best for my family and me.
Embracing Self-Reliance
While support from loved ones is invaluable, especially during this time when you and your body are going through incredible changes, it’s important for me to learn the extent of my capabilities without overdoing it.
I’m a full believer that I’m also three months into learning how to be a mom. There is nothing that should be done in only one specific way, I’m discovering this journey with her, so it’s only fair that I want to discover my capabilities. It is just who I am.
Thus, early on, I set the boundary of allocating specific times for family support, such as having my mom support me at times, which gave me the opportunity to slowly come back to work.
Or I have extended times with my daughter where I could follow my gut instinct in my own ways so that I could discover what I can do and what I can’t. This boundary supported me immensely in building my confidence back.
It has had amazing results, as today, three months later, I feel some sort of control over my life.
Authentic Expression: Prioritizing Time While My Child Sleeps
Motherhood and business ownership present significant challenges, and I’ve learned that prioritizing time for myself and business while my child sleeps is essential for my satisfaction as an entrepreneur contrary to what many advice.
During my daughter’s nap times, I carve out moments to focus on tasks that fuel my passion and productivity. For example, I use this quiet time to plan and record podcast episodes, allowing me to stay engaged with my work without distractions.
Balancing work and motherhood requires making choices that align with my values and needs. While some may see nap times as an opportunity to catch up on household chores, I prioritize 70% of those times activities that contribute to my personal and professional growth.
The Sacred Act of Self-Care
My self-care moments have changed. Instead of quiet time, I have feeding times, and instead of meditation times, I have stroller walks. Yet, I crave this space and make sure I protect it as much as I can.
Carving out moments for self-nurturance ensures I replenish my energy, which is often used for my daughter, cultivate resilience, and sustain my well-being throughout this journey.
No matter what day it is or how chaotic it can be, a five-minute bathroom breathing exercise— even if it means I have to put my daughter in the bouncer and keep the door open so she can see me regulating my nervous system—makes a difference.
