Being a mother can be one of the most rewarding journeys you’ll ever experience. After welcoming your little one into the world, you notice all the little things: from their first ‘real’ smile to the tragedy of your first diaper blowout, being a mother is something no one can really prepare you for. Even with all of the undeniable joy, motherhood can be incredibly isolating, especially for new moms navigating the challenges of parenting—especially when you don’t have a built-in support system or community of parents.
It’s normal to feel like it is you and your baby against the world—and while your family and friends try their best to support you, nothing quite compares to having a “mom village.” This is a group of mothers who know what you are going through better than anyone else. After all they’re going through it too—or they have recently
More often than not, finding your mom village and making mom friends can be hard, since juggling the demands of motherhood might make you feel shy about putting yourself out there. What if you’re judged? What if you don’t click? What if they’re a better mom than you? (Spoiler: we’re all great moms!)
Here, we explore actionable steps for finding your mom village, whether through local groups, online communities or shared activities. This guide will help you find the right community to support you on your motherhood journey.
- What is a Mom Village and Why Do You Need One?
- How to Find Your Mom Village Locally
- How to Find Your Mom Village Online
- Tips for Building Strong Connections in Your Mom Village
- Overcoming Common Challenges in Finding Your Mom Village
What is a Mom Village and Why Do You Need One?
“A mom village is a group of mom friends who support one another. They are necessary because without a village, motherhood can feel incredibly lonely,” Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C, a psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health, said. “Finding a mom village can help you fulfill your needs for friendship and also provide another source of support. Moms in a mom village can lean on one another for help with things like childcare and grocery pick ups, as well as emotional support and encouragement.”
The Emotional and Practical Benefits of a Mom Village
FInding your mom village can offer significant emotional and practical benefits. Being a mama can take a toll on your mental health— but having a mom village to turn to provides support, advice and shared experiences to help you feel less alone in your journey. Whether you’re struggling with breastfeeding, can’t seem to get your baby to sleep longer than twenty minutes for a nap or just want someone to vent to when you’re frustrated, a mom village gives you a safe environment to be yourself, heal, talk, laugh and feel supported.
There’s something strangely comforting about sharing experiences with other moms who are in your shoes. You can roll your eyes about the little things, share stories and even offer tips to each other. Finding a mom village can help you feel less isolated and give you a sense of belonging that after you find it, you’ll wonder how you managed motherhood before.
How Mom Villages Help Reduce Stress and Burnout
Making mom friends can also reduce your stress and burnout, which can feel absolutely exhausting. Trying to juggle everything can feel impossible on your own, and it’s very easy to feel pushed to your limits. Having a supportive mom village can help reduce the load you feel by stepping in, offering help and being another ‘mom’ you feel comfortable ‘parenting’ alongside.
They can organize play dates to get you some much deserved me time, pass down clothes and baby gear, or figure out childcare shares. Whatever it is, with the right mom village support, motherhood can feel a little bit easier.
How to Find Your Mom Village Locally
So how do you start finding your mom village? The first way is through local resources that can help you create bonds with other mothers. Here are a few ways we recommend getting started:
Join Local Mom Groups
One of the easiest ways to start finding your mom village is by joining local mom groups. These can be through community centers, churches or social media platforms like Facebook and Meetup. Facebook groups are a great place to start as they allow you to see location and certain interests, like a new mom group, working mothers, fitness mothers and so many more. The community organizers who run these local groups can also help you find the right place for you and your lifestyle. Whether you’re looking for more structured meetups or casual meetups in the park or at coffee shops, there’s most likely a group of mamas out there for you.
Explore Baby Classes and Groups
Another great way to look for classes like ‘mom and me’ yoga, music or storytime at libraries, which can provide opportunities to meet other moms in your area. “Attending a mommy-and-me class or a support group are great ways to connect with other moms and build a village. You can find a local mommy-and-me class by searching online in your area,” Guarnotta explained.
Meetups like these can help you connect with mothers who are at similar stages in their journey, which can help you find more common ground and create a foundation for a lasting relationship as your babies grow.
Utilize Local Resources Like Hospitals and Clinics
Another way to find your mom village locally is through hospitals or clinics. Many hospitals, birthing centers or pediatric clinics offer new parent support groups, breastfeeding classes or postpartum support groups that can help you connect with other mothers. These meetups are designed to create a sense of community and give you practical support as you navigate new motherhood. These health-focused resources often foster strong, supportive communities.
How to Find Your Mom Village Online
If you are a mom who might not have access to local groups or you just prefer the flexibility of virtual connections, online communities can be an excellent option. Here are some ways to find your mom village virtually.
Join Online Support Groups for Moms
Social media platforms are the best place to start. Whether you’re using Facebook, Instagram or mom-focused platforms like Peanut, there’s definitely an online space for you and your wants. Peanut specifically is a social network for moms to connect with each other. There’s plenty of categories from motherhood, fertility, pregnancy—and even menopause. Try to find groups that are at the stage of motherhood you are in or are facing the same challenges you are, like a breastfeeding or postpartum recovery group. The benefit of having your group online is they are there whenever you need, which makes it super easy to connect with moms all over the world who know what you are going through.
For moms who have just moved to a new area, technology can help bridge the gap if you are struggling to find your mom village. Online communities are an easy (and less anxiety-inducing) way to find plenty of options and help you create meaningful connections just a tap away.
Engage with Parenting Blogs and Social Media Influencers
Reading parenting blogs and connecting with social media influencers can be another great way to connect with your mom village online. There are plenty of influencers out there who have built and structured their platform on engaging with mothers, sharing advice and offering resources. By following these influencers or blogs, you’ll have a direct line to other like-minded mothers in discussions or comments. Here are some of our favorites:
- Cat & Nat: This mom BFF duo has seven kids between them, so it’s safe to know they have a fair share of experience to offer. They share stories and even founded The Common Parent, a toolkit focused on parenting teens and tweens. They love their community, and are even going on tour to share the most honest and unfiltered moments of motherhood.
- Moments of Musing: Jackei Hernandez Lewis created her blog for mothers and women everywhere. She wants mothers to have the permission to feel human and realize that life is not perfect.
- Mommasgonewild: Jessica Shyba gets real about motherhood and she’s all about helping mothers feel less alone in their journeys.
Ask Your Friends
If all else fails, just reach out to your friends and family who are mothers and ask how they found their mom villages. They might be able to connect you with some groups or even other moms who need to build their village.
Tips for Building Strong Connections in Your Mom Village
Finding your mom village is just the first step. Simply showing up and not talking or reaching out but not responding doesn’t build the type of support and connection you’re craving from a group of friends. Here’s how to cultivate strong, lasting relationships within your mom village.
Show Up Consistently
First up, be consistent when it comes to attending regular meetups, classes or group events. This will help you form deeper connections over time. Think about it: if you’re only showing up once a month, the other mothers have bonded in the meetings you were gone to. Moms should prioritize your village. After all, you’re not just leaning on them but they are leaning on you, too.
“After the first meet-up, schedule the next one and have everyone who came, bring a friend,” Marika Frumes, founder for Mysha, a dynamic virtual and IRL community for high-powered mothers balancing high-powered careers and family, said. “Repeat often. Someone generally needs to nourish the group and take the lead, however, the result is priceless!”
Be Open and Vulnerable
We know at first it can feel difficult to be completely open and vulnerable. Meeting new people and instantly diving into your traumatic birth story or your frustrations with mental load sharing in your marriage may not feel right to you. And that’s okay—but it’s best not to put an Instagram filter over your struggles. Other moms want to feel like they’re not alone in their thoughts and anxieties, and by sharing some of your story, you invite them to do the same.
“Strong connections are built on openness and vulnerability. This means showing up to relationships as your true self, not hiding who you are or pretending to be someone that you’re not,” Guarnotta explained. “Relationships usually begin at a surface level and then go deeper over time. It’s common in new friendships to talk about topics that are not too emotional or personal. Over time, trust is built and you begin to share more of your personal feelings with your friends.”
Being vulnerable can help you create deeper connections over time, which is essential as your mom village doesn’t just stop after the baby or toddler phase. They can help you through all the unique stages of raising a human from day one.
Offer Help and Support
Remember to also give as much support to others as you are receiving. Building a strong mom village isn’t just about receiving support—it’s also about giving back. Offer help, advice and your time to others in your village. You could even organize a meal train, offer to babysit or Uber Eats a mom a coffee if you know they are struggling. These small acts of kindness can mean the world to other moms.
Overcoming Common Challenges in Finding Your Mom Village
Many mothers face obstacles when trying to find a supportive community. You might feel nervous or like you don’t fit in anywhere. But there’s plenty of ways to get around these fears. Here’s how to overcome common challenges.
Dealing with Social Anxiety or Shyness
We know as a new mom you might feel shy or have anxiety about joining groups or making connections. Not only is it normal—but you can move past it by easing your way into conversations. Try to connect with just one mom at a time at a meet-up, and focus on that relationship to see if it’s a fit for you. If it’s not, you can seek out another source. Just like your baby is growing each day, so are you.
“Push yourself a little bit each day to make friends with other moms. Don’t stay in the house all the time: take your baby out in a stroller, a carrier, or a backpack and get moving in your local spots. Going on little walks at a well attended park is a great place to meet other young moms or dads with kids around the same age, and simply saying ‘hi’ and asking how old their child is can open up a whole conversation,” Lisa Salzer, a single mother who knows what it’s like to have tough days and founder of Lulu Frost, said. “Finding your mom village can be a bit of a challenge, but having an open heart, warm smile and a few simple questions for other moms you see will go a long way towards creating lasting friendships.”
Struggling to Find the Right Group
Remember, not every group will be the right fit, and it may take time to find your ideal mom village. If you feel like the first group you find doesn’t fit your needs, values or parenting style, don’t be discouraged. It may take a few tries to find the right group that really clicks with you. Don’t be scared to keep attending other groups until you feel like you’re in the right place.
Balancing Time Between Family, Work, and Social Life
One of the more common challenges mothers face when finding a mom village is the time to nurture it. The demands of motherhood, household duties and if you’re a working mother, there is already so much on your plate. The best way to manage your time with this is to try to blend social time with your baby’s activities. For example, when you take your baby to the park, invite a mom or two to come with you. This little connection can go a long way. (And it’s often easier to parent when you have another set of hands!)
A mom village can provide you with the support you need in motherhood. The rewards are worth the effort you put in. Having someone who knows the ups and downs of parenting can make all the difference in your life. Whether it’s sharing stories, offering advice or just having a listening ear, finding your mom village and making mom friends can make you realize how invaluable that connection is in your motherhood journey.
